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quality in chanting (3)

Sravanadi suddha citte karaye... It will be awakened. Not by force. Just
like love between two persons, it cannot be forced. "You must love him. You
must love her." Oh, that is no love. That is not love. When automatically
you love one another, that is quality. Dora vede(?) prema.

And therefore formerly, at least in the Indian society, at an early age they
were married. There is no quality in that quality. But gradually, remaining
together, the quality of love increases. Then the wife takes care of the
husband, and the husband takes care. They become bound up, united in love.
That is quality. In the beginning, what the child knows about love? No. But
they are allowed to remain as husband and wife. They are thinking that "I
have got my husband," "I have got my wife," and as the age increases, the
dealings become intimate. Then they become affectionate. That is quality.

Not in the beginning there is any quality. It is by the parents'
arrangement. That's all. In our day, the marriage was performed when the
girl is ten years, twelve years, nine years. Twelve years is very late
marriage. My second sister, she became twelve years old. So my mother became
so disturbed that "This girl is not being married. Shall I commit suicide?"
Yes. You see? My eldest sister, she was nine years old, older than me, and
she was married before my birth. And my mother-in-law was married at the age
of seven years, and my father-in-law was eleven years. I was married... My
wife was eleven years.

So in this age there is no question of love. It is not that the husband and
wife lives together, no. Unless the girl is grown up, she is not going to
the husband. She remains with the father and mother. Sometimes they meet,
and the wife is taught, giving some sweetmeat to the husband-official.
Official. The parents of the girl: "Just go up to your husband and offer
this." So she comes as obedient servant. But gradually they get the
connection. In this way the love develops, and when they are fifteen,
sixteen years old, they are allowed to live together. Because both of them
have already developed that "She is my wife," "He is my husband,"

And there was no question of divorce. The love is so strong, they cannot
dream even that "I have to leave my wife," "I have to leave my husband."
They cannot dream it. They may fight. The husband and wife fighting, that is
not unusual. Therefore Canakya Pandita says, "Fight between the husband,
wife, never take it seriously." Dampatye kalahe caiva bambharambhe
laghu-kriya: "They'll make all arambha, but it is not very important. Don't
take." Next moment they will again live peacefully.

So according to Indian culture, there is no divorce. There is no question of
divorce. Both the husband and wife, they cannot dream of divorce. The love
was so strong. Even Gandhi's life, he fought with his wife and pushed her
out of the house: "Get out, I don't want you." And Kasturabhai, she began to
cry on the street, "Where shall I go? You have driven me away." Then Gandhi
said, "Come on." Finished.

>>> Ref. VedaBase => Morning Walk -- November 2, 1975, Nairobi

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