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Ode to my WicKed Heart

Srila Govinda Das
(Pähiòä-räga)
çré kåñëa caitanya balaräma nityänanda
päriñada saìge avatära
golokera prema-dhana sabäre yäciïä dila
nä la-inu muïi duräcäraAccompanied by their associates, Krishna
and Balaram descended to this world as Sri
Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Nityananda
Prabhu. They begged everyone to accept the
great treasure of love they had brought from
Goloka. However, I acted very badly and refused
to accept it!
äre pämara mana marame rahala baòa leça
saìkértana prema-bädale saba hiyä òubala
mohe vidhi vaïcita kela
(Refrain) O my wicked heart! A great javelin
is now pushed into my chest! The chanting of
the holy names has brought a great monsoon
of ecstatic love. Every heart except mine has
been plunged into that monsoon! Destiny has
cheated me!
çré guru vaiñëava pada kalpa-taru-chäyä päïä
saba jéva täpa päçarila
muïi abhägiyä viña- viñaye mätiyä ra-inu
hena yuge nistära nä haila
Resting in the shade of the wish-fulfilling tree
of the feet of Sri Guru and the vaiñëavas, every
soul has forgotten his burning sufferings. But
not I! I am very unfortunate! I drank poison
and have become like a madman! Even after a
yuga I will not be delivered!
ägune puòiyä maroì jale paraveça karoì
viña khäïä maroì mo päpiyä
ei mata kari yadi maraëa nä kare vidhi
präëa rahe ki sukha lägiyä
I will throw myself into a fire! I will throw
myself in the ocean! This sinner will drink poison
and die. If in spite of all my efforts destiny
does not allow me to die, then how can I be
content to go on living and breathing?
ehena gauräìga-guëa nä karinu çravaëa
häya häya kari hä hutäça
hare-kåñëa mahä-mantra mukha bhari nä la-iläma
jévan-måta govinda-däsa
I do not listen to the descriptions of Lord Gauranga’s
glories. Alas! Alas! I burn in the flames
of a fire! The Hare Krishna mahä-mantra does
not fill my mouth! Govinda Das has become a
walking corpse! ·
Bibliography
— Jagadbandhu Bhadra (editor). Gaura-pada-taraìgiëé. Sri Gauranga
Press. Calcutta. 1931. Bengali.
— Kusakratha Das (editor and translator). The Acaryas Songs and
Poems Glorifying Lord Gauranga and Lord Govinda. Unpublished
manuscript.

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