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Sri Srimad Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja

Srila Gour Kishore Das Babaji Maharaja had
a follower whose name was Shambhu Babu.
He later accepted a wife and married. Then he
came to see Gour Kishore Das Babaji Maharaja,
and offered his obeisances. Seeing him, one of
the devotees said, “Maharaja, Shambhu Babu
has come and he is now married”.
“O, bhālo helā, bhālo helā!” Gour Kishore Das
Babaji said. “It is very good that Shambhu Babu
is married now”. Then he gave an instruction
to him. “Shambhu, you should understand that
your wife is Krishna’s maidservant. She will
give pleasure to the senses of Krishna, not to
your senses.” You should see her as Krishna’s
maidservant, a vaisnavī, and that she is meant to
give pleasure to the senses of Krishna. So every
day you should offer obeisances to her and take
her remnants because she is a vaisnavī.”
This is the system for vaisnava family. Early in
the morning, both the husband and wife will
get up and offer each other obeisances:
vāñchā-kalpatarubhyaś ca krpā-sindhubhya eva ca
patitānām pāvanebhyo vaisnavebhyo namo namah
We have a similar system in our process of
vaisnava marriage. When the ceremony is finished
then the husband and wife accept prasāda
together for the first time. They sit together
and they will take remnants of each other. The
husband takes the remnants of the wife, and
the wife takes the remnants of husband. This
is our marriage system. There is no question
of giving pleasure or enjoyment to one’s own
senses — everything is meant for Krishna’s
pleasure and enjoyment. That is very good.
That is Krishna’s sambandha, Krishna’s family.
Husband and wife relationship should be
based on a relationship with Krishna, not on a
temporary bodily relationship. Then there will
be all happiness, all ānanda, blissfulness. Otherwise,
material relationships mean unlimited
suffering, distress, frictions, quarrelling and
divorce. Someone divorces their husband and
marries another man. A man divorces his wife
and marries another woman. What is this? Like
dogs and hogs! How can you expect happiness,
peacefulness, and bliss
— From a lecture in Bristol, England. 11 August 1994.

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